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Marriaging After COVID

I love being a therapist and helping others.

In the couples counseling I do on a daily basis, I hear of the tension and pressure that has built up between couples who have been coping with the fear and isolation with Covid. Not only have they been diligently trying to protect the children from getting the virus, but the worry over where they might pick it up even grocery shopping or going to a movie hovers over their minds constantly. Add to that stress is the lack of space from one another, especially if one or both are stuck at home based business work.

What to do as the branching out occurs? Some of the tensions starting occurring when either of the couple have gotten too close of a look at the other's shortcomings or quirks that become irritants over these months. What used to be overlooked or ignored before the crisis, in isolation this little problems become exacerbated in the closed quarters of Covidville.

Patience at turning the tide of aggravation for one another and motivation to remain a couple have driven many clients to my zoom door. I am excited to help them get back to a semblance of normalcy and bring about the joy they once experienced being out and about and appreciating each other's differences and even laughing at each other's quirks!

This process requires a new capacity for compassionate listening, admitted that each have a slight part in the problem and willingness to make small attitude adjustments to the present situation. While it is not an overnight miracle, many couples who do engage in psychotherapy together start getting relief in bits and pieces as they integrate new behaviors and thoughts that may have been there but got forgotten while they were in crisis mode for the last few years. As their coach I am so thrilled to see their hard work pay off with stories of relaxing, unstressed moments with each other where they gave up their vigilant noticing of the faults or injuries from each other (can I say forgiveness?)

and living in the present moment of having an intact family that brings such rewards.

While happily every after may be a myth, I see hard working couples, determined to repair old hurts and renew their commitment find satisfaction again through their work on the marriage or relationship.

You might want to try this process, even if the other partner doesn't want to start yet. Having both of you involved is a bonus, but even one person can enjoy a great amount of peace if they make the start.


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